Building Self Confidence: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

You open Instagram. And you see this.

 People having an awesome time with their best friend.

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People travel to all the cool places in the world.

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Paris.

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China.

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Dubai.

People get huge bouquet of flowers.

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People flaunting bikini body with beautiful scenery in the background.

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People on vacations, while you're stuck at work.

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 People who seem totally in love.

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 People with designer bags.

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 via the Hashtag #fashionismypill.

 People with their cute kids.

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Did you ever feel depressed after looking at other's people photo on Instagram? Did you ever feel jealous to see how great their lives are? Honestly, I did. They say 'a picture is worth a thousand words' and that is somehow a photo implicit cues of people being happy and having fun, how they're spending all of the money they're making, and how they're getting married to fabulous people and having adorable kids.

Well, maybe I'm alone here. But my point is why compare yourself with others? While comparing yourself to others can be a healthy means of motivations and growth, it can also makes you focus on your weakness and it will frustrates you. For example your diet buddy loses 10 pounds. When you start comparing yourself to your friend this might makes you feel like a failure. You'll end up feeling frustrated. All that comparison can easily turn into negative self talk — the little voice in your head that focuses on why you CAN'T do anything.

Then how do you stop comparing yourself to others? Iyanla Vanzant has a great write up on Oprah concerning this topic:

1. Get clear about you.

A sense of self lets you see others' successes and become better, not bitter. List words that describe you: smart, strong, kind; mother, friend, visionary. Value yourself and you won't want to be like anyone else.

2. Seek meaning, not approval.

When you spend your life chasing recognition, you can also expect to spend it worrying about who's passing you by. If you work to advance your dreams, your place in the pecking order ceases to matter.

3. Know that everyone has her own strengths. 

Our parents told us, "Sit up straight like your brother. Clean your room like your sister." The result? We learned to measure what we do by what others have done. But that isn't useful when every individual has unique gifts.

4. Emulate what works. 

When someone does something well, assess what made her succeed and figure out ways to incorporate those traits in your own life. If that's possible, great! If not, refer to #1—and keep doing you.

It is a mistake to compare yourself to others because you really don't know what's happening in the other person's life. While it's true 'a picture is worth a thousand words' but we also have no idea what else is happening around the image. A couple on holiday could be posting beautiful images while arguing the whole time. Don't envy anyone. Be your best. Follow me on Instagram @honeybeegeb.

Now your turn, leave in the comments: 

What things you usually share on Social Networks? 

Don't forget to leave your username or links to your Social Network. I'd be happy to follow.  

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30 Days 30 Letters: An Open Letter To My Diet Buddy #17 - Grieving: How to Deal With Sadness Without Sabotaging Your Weight Loss Plan

This is letter #17 in Her Weight loss Diary's new series - 30 Days Letters to My Diet Buddy project. The road to weight loss can be tough. If you want to feel like you aren't alone in your diet endeavors, buddying up can hold you accountable for every bite you take. Subscribe here, because you don't want to miss any letter.

P.s. Don't hesitate to share your thoughts, the best thoughtful comments will be featured every Friday.

Email:

Dear Diet Buddy,

Ball workout? Eating clean plan? My diet and exercise plan while on vacation is not working. I'm not eating well and I didn't workout. 

Unexpected thing happened during our holiday. Our beloved grandfather - my mom's father - has been called to eternity. He was 81. I'm not so sure what cause his death, but he had been suffering from Alzheimer for a while. Basically, Alzheimer's does not kill a person directly. But factor that work against those with Alzheimer's like the inability to take care of himself leads to other complications, infections and diseases that lead to death. Death is a natural part of life. We know that every human being will die someday. But losing someone you loved is still hurt and make you feel sad. 

Grieving and Weight Gain

Grief affects different people in different ways. The symptoms of grieving can feel similar to depression. Grieving people just want to hole up in bed and do nothing. Food is all the comfort you can find. After losing someone close to you, you may not even care if you get fat. Emotional eaters may find that grief is the road to obesity.

Weight-Loss Grief
Not everyone gain weight, of course. Loss of appetite is also an option. Some people stop eating when they are grieving. They may even experience fatigue and sleep disturbance. On the Dr. Oz show, Eva Longoria revealed how her traumatic divorce results in weight loss.

Eva Longoria recalled how her divorce affecting her health: "I was not eating. I was depressed. I was sad. My diet was coffee."

People grieve for many reasons -- when you lose someone dear to you, the loss of a job, break up, the loss of a pet, divorce, etc.

How to Handle Sadness Without Sabotaging Your Weight Loss Plan 

There's no quick fix but there are practical things you can do to deal with the loss of a loved one:

• Express yourself - Talking is often a good way to soothe painful emotions.
• Allow yourself to feel sad - Crying is a healthy part of the process and enables your body to release tension.
• Maintain a schedule - It reduces the panicky feelings. I
• Sleep - If you’re having trouble sleeping, see your GP. 
• Eat healthily - A healthy, well-balanced diet will help you to cope with your emotions. 
• Avoid things that ‘numb’ the pain, such as alcohol. 
• Go to counselling if it feels right for you.

Source: NHS Choices

I want to hear from your personal experience, how do you manage sadness and stick to your weight loss plan while grieving?

Yours truly,

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Weird but True: Laughing Too Much is Dangerous

You must have heard that laughing can help you burn calories. Scientist have discovered that laughing intensely for an hour can burn as many calories as lifting weight for 30 minutes. It's no secret anymore that the act of laughing can also keeps you young. But be warned, healthy habits can become a health risk. The old cliche, "I almost died laughing" is true. Laughing can kill you!

Laughter is not always the best medicine

How laughing can kill you?

When you laugh too much for hours, it can be difficult to take a deep breath. This causes a drop in blood pressure and decreases the amount of oxygen that reaches the brain, which can lead to fainting. According to Interesting Health Facts, this condition called laughter-induced syncope. This isn't usually fatal, but there’s the risk of injury during the faint. The good news, laughter-induced syncope is very rare.

It’s also possible that a person with advanced heart disease might experience a rapid drop in blood pressure during hard laughter that could be life-threatening, but there aren't a lot of cases of this in the literature.

Funny: Can you relate to this? Eat food in class when the teacher is not looking.
Image from memeblender.com

"Laugh to Death" Cases

• Alex Mitchell died after twenty-five minutes of continuous laughter while watching the "Kung Fu Kapers" episode of The Goodies On 24 March 1975. Cardiologists believe Mr Mitchell suffered from a rare heart rhythm disorder, Long QT syndrome, which can induce cardiac arrest when triggered by exertion or adrenaline.
• Ole Bentzen, a Danish audiologist, laugh himself to death while watching the film "A Fish Called Wanda" in 1989. The scene where Ken gets the chips up his nose remind him of his joke a few years earlier with his family during dinner, where he put a piece of cauliflower up his and every family members nose as a joke and made a bet with them on who could eat up their carrots without the cauliflower falling out. He laughed so hard thinking about the dinner-incident that his heart stopped. Bentzen's heart rate went between 250-500 beats per minute and he eventually succumbed to cardiac arrest.

Bottom Line 

Extremely strong emotional states, be it sadness or happiness can be harmful to the heart, on rare occasions causing an abnormal rhythm which can be life-threatening.

When's the last time you laughed so hard you couldn't catch your breath? What happened? Leave a comment and share to me about it.

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Catherine Zeta-Jones Goes to Rehab to Treate Bipolar Disorder

Actress Catherine Zeta-Jones,41 entered a mental health facility to seek treatment for bipolar II disorder, according to the actress representative.

The source tells People Magazine that Catherine made the decision to check in to a mental health facility after dealing with the stress of the past year. The rep says in a statement, "She's feeling great and looking forward to starting work this week on her two upcoming films."

SEE ALSO: Catherine the Great starring Catherine Zeta-Jones

Wedding photo with Michael Douglas, 18 Nov. 2000

What is bipolar disorder?

Bipolar disorder also known as manic depression. Unlike ordinary mood swings, the mood changes of bipolar disorder are so intense that they interfere with your ability to function. It causes serious shifts in mood, energy, thinking, and behavior–from the highs of mania on one extreme, to the lows of depression on the other. More than just a fleeting good or bad mood, the cycles of bipolar disorder last for days, weeks, or months.

Signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder

Bipolar disorder can look very different in different people. The symptoms vary widely in their pattern, severity, and frequency.

There are four types of mood episodes in bipolar disorder: mania, hypomania, depression, and mixed episodes. Each type of bipolar disorder mood episode has a unique set of symptoms.

Catherine Zeta-Jones at this year's Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills

Common signs and symptoms of mania include:

• Feeling unusually “high” and optimistic OR extremely irritable
• Unrealistic, grandiose beliefs about one’s abilities or powers
• Sleeping very little, but feeling extremely energetic
• Talking so rapidly that others can’t keep up
• Racing thoughts; jumping quickly from one idea to the next
• Highly distractible, unable to concentrate
• Impaired judgment and impulsiveness
• Acting recklessly without thinking about the consequences
• Delusions and hallucinations (in severe cases)

Hypomania symptoms

Hypomania is a less severe form of mania. People in a hypomanic state feel euphoric, energetic, and productive, but they are able to carry on with their day-to-day lives and they never lose touch with reality. To others, it may seem as if people with hypomania are merely in an unusually good mood. However, hypomania can result in bad decisions that harm relationships, careers, and reputations. In addition, hypomania often escalates to full-blown mania or is followed by a major depressive episode.

Common symptoms of bipolar depression include:

• Feeling hopeless, sad, or empty.
• Irritability
• Inability to experience pleasure
• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Physical and mental sluggishness
• Appetite or weight changes
• Sleep problems
• Concentration and memory problems
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Thoughts of death or suicide

RELATED: Why Am I Still Depressed? Recognizing and Managing the Ups and Downs of Bipolar II and Soft Bipolar Disorder

Signs and symptoms of a mixed episode

A mixed episode of bipolar disorder features symptoms of both mania or hypomania and depression. Common signs of a mixed episode include depression combined with agitation, irritability, anxiety, insomnia, distractibility, and racing thoughts. This combination of high energy and low mood makes for a particularly high risk of suicide.

Treatment for bipolar disorder
Diagnosing the problem as early as possible and getting into treatment can help prevent these complications. Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away; in fact, it will almost certainly get worse. Living with untreated bipolar disorder can lead to problems in everything from your career to your relationships to your health.

5 Self-help for bipolar disorder

1. Get educated. Learn as much as you can about bipolar disorder. The more you know, the better you’ll be at assisting your own recovery.

2. Keep stress in check. Avoid high-stress situations, maintain a healthy work-life balance, and try relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing.

3. Seek support. It’s important to have people you can turn to for help and encouragement. Try joining a support group or talking to a trusted friend.

4. Make healthy choices. Healthy sleeping, eating, and exercising habits can help stabilize your moods. Keeping a regular sleep schedule is particularly important.

5. Monitor your moods. Keep track of your symptoms and watch for signs that your moods are swinging out of control so you can stop the problem before it starts.


Read more about The different faces of bipolar disorder

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5 Ordinary Ways to Prevent Stress from Affecting Your Weight Loss

Stress is a natural part of life. The cause of stress are many. Not enough money, loaded of works, tight deadline, unsettled debt, stubborn children, you name it. Chronic high stress can prevent you from losing weight, no matter how well you eat or how often you exercise. Stress - good stress - can be a great motivating force for us to work harder, keeps you energized and focused. But when stress becomes unmanagable, it can affect your health and decrease your productivity at work. As a matter of fact, you cannot delete stress like simply pressing the 'delete' button on your keyboard. But good news is you can deal stress the healthy way and get your life back.

There is always a place to find relax. The closest one is your own home. How you can make you home as a place to unwind you from stress?

1) Create a spa environment in your own home

Pamper yourself in your very own bathroom. Light an aromatherapy candles and turn on soothing music at the background to get the mood. Drop a few aromatherapy oil in your bath water. Before you step in the water, make sure you prepare a clean towel. Lock the bathroom door and switch off your phone to avoid any disruption. Take your time to relax. I love the spa idea!

2) Lazing on bed or watch your favorite movie

You have enough at work. Home is a place to relax, don't bring extras at home. Simply lazing in your private corner and have a 'me' time. As for me? Marathon a k-drama all night long. Haha

3) Try out new recipes

It's impossible to find a house without foods. Show some skills, and cook like a masterchef. If you lack of ideas, shop for a recipe books in bookstore. There are a lot. You can also simply browse the internet and try to cook your favorite food.

4) Dancing

Dance the pounds away! Zumba dance is a fun way to lose weight. It's also an option to de-stress. Isn't that sound amazing? Dance and you got to unwind after a hectic schedule while at the same time losing weight.

5) Find new hobbies

New hobby, perhaps gardening? Gardening as a hobby can be an effective tool for stress management as well. A study shows that gardening improves positive mood more than other leisure activity such as reading. Tending to other living things brings you closer to the earth and heal yourself.

Let's chat a bit:

• What do you think about stress? 
• Why do we experience it?
• How do you manage stress in your everyday life? I'd love to hear from you, share your two cents in the comment. 

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Detox Your Mind: The 5 Place to Find Relax

"Peace of Mind" from magicpaintings.com

People always relate detox with diets and weight loss. Detoxification, or in short word, detox is refer to a process of eliminating toxic substances from our body. In my last post, I write about The Benefit of Detox. The detox concept is not for weight loss, however the detox program may result in a natural weight loss. By detoxifying, we can improve our immune function, purify our blood, cleanse our digesting system and reform our lifestyle addiction to sugar and salt, alcohol and nicotine.

In order to truly complete a self-cleanse, it is best to detox your mind as well and purify yourself from negative mind and toxic emotions. We are dealing with everyday stress, and stress can weaken our immune system and overwork our internal organs. So in 365 days per year find a week off or at least a day off every week to relax and improve your well-being. This is 5 best place where you can find peace and relax.

"Tabacon - Grand Spa" sevenstarsandstripes.com

No.1 - Massage at spa

Massage is a traditional and effective way to relieve stress and tension. Spa is not dedicated for women only, but men as well can cope stress better with massage. You can choose to have full body massage. Before you start the session, it is okay to check the spa's license and certificate to make sure that the therapist is professional and certified. You don't want to end at someone's hand whom will add the stress. Room massage normally quiet and private. Some will add aromatherapy candles to aid in relaxation.

No.2 - Reflexology House

If you are not comfortable to bare in front strangers, you can opt for foot reflexology massage. Reflexology practitioner believe that certain areas on the feet linked to other areas in the body. Reflexology is not painful and it promotes relaxation, improves circulation, reduces pain and soothes tired feet. Both full body massage and foot massage are affordable this day. But if you don't have much time and looking for cheaper alternative, reflexology is the best.

Plan a beach holiday with cheapholidayspider.co.uk

No.3 - Beach

Surfing, canoeing, or play beach volleyball. Plan a vacation, grab your sunglasses and have fun.  The rules for this activity is only one: Put all works, all worries, and stress behind. Just lazing on the beach and enjoy the moment.

Kelly Clarkson, American Idol season one winner

No. 4 - Karaoke House

It's a good idea to head direct to local karaoke house after work and sing all night long, or spend your day-off karaoke with friends. You are not going to be the next American Idol, nor to compete in America Got Talent. You singing suck but who cares as long as you enjoy yourself. Studies shows that singing lower heart rate, decreased blood pressure and reduced stress. "Some people who have been traumatized often want to leave the physical body, and using the voice helps ground them to their bodies. Singing also seems to block a lot of the neural pathways that pain travels through," says , Patricia Preston-Roberts a board-certified music therapist in New York City. So, the next time you need to beat stress, sing and sing whole-heartedly as sing reduce stress and feeling of pain.

No.5 - Home sweet home

There is no place like home. This is my best favorite place to unwind from the stress after work. Without paying a visit to spa, you still can create a spa environment in your own house. Soak your feet in a basin of warm water mix essential oil. Scrub your feet after 15 minutes with Tea Tree Oil Cooling Foot Scrub to remove thickened layers of dead skin. Do your own pedicure after that. A relaxing bubble bath is another way to relieve stress at home. Light aromatherapy candles in your bathroom and play soothing music at the background for relaxation. After bath time, take time to relax on bed, reading your favorite books to asleep. 

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