05 September 2013

What to Do When Life Doesn’t Seem to Be Working for You

When things happen in the world that seem so far beyond our individual control, it can feel unsettling. But don’t give up on your goals and dreams just because “the time isn’t good”... you can still make 2013 the year to uncover a personal breakthrough! 

Even in tough times, you get to decide how to respond to certain conditions, opportunities, and outcomes—both good and bad. 

Life will always be a series of choices and YOU get to decide on what will move you closer to your goals, or farther away from them. External forces will always be part of the equation, even during the good times when the world is thriving. 

When people ask me about the single most important ingredient to success, I always share the same response: realizing what’s making you achieve success, and then realizing what is stifling your success. 

Sometimes recognizing the things that are NOT working in your life can be painful, yet VERY powerful to shaping the life you want. 

Don’t try to rationalize them, make excuses for them, or hide them. This is when it’s even more critical to take personal inventory and evict those excuses, rationalizations, and hidden habits that don’t serve you. These things will keep you from the life you want to be living. 

Let me give you some examples (do you see yourself in any of these questions?): 

Do you want to be active, fit, and strong? Then you have to stop making excuses about your weight, diet choices, and lack of exercise. 

Do you want to be in a loving relationship based on friendship and respect? Then you have to stop rationalizing why your mate is so unsupportive or why you are not communicating well. 

Do you want to embrace Monday mornings and feel joyful about going to work every day? Then you have to stop hiding your true passions and go after whatever it is you really want to be doing day in and day out. 

Do you want to lose the debt forever? Then you have to stop ignoring your spending habits and get real about a budget that will pull you out of debt and allow you to reach financial freedom. 

Do you want to feel more connected to the people in your life, such as your children, friends, and colleagues? Then you have to stop complaining about your poor relationships and figure out why you don’t feel as connected as you’d like to be. 

These things can be painful to look at because the truth is that you have to do something about them in order to make it work in your life. 

You’ll have to say no to the second helping of dinner and the dessert to follow and go through the action steps to get into shape... You’ll have to confront your partner about the areas that need work... You’ll have to get past fears about changing your job or professional path... You’ll have to cut back on your spending and be a bit more frugal... You’ll have to take a good hard look at your personal relationships and perhaps consider your own shortfalls and weaknesses in communicating your needs and concerns. 

Plain and simple, you will have to do something uncomfortable. 

Successful people don't waste time in denial (or complain or make excuses for that matter). They face situations like a warrior. They look for the warning signs, they find out why things aren’t working, and they go about fixing them- even when fixing requires problem solving, hard work, risk, and a level of uncertainty. 

It’s okay to identify a problem even though you haven’t a clue about how to go about solving it right away. The first step is just recognizing the issue, and then having faith that you’ll figure it out with careful attention to it. That’s how successful people live—in constant focus on goals, on results, on problem solving, and on the actions that get them to where they want to be. 

Following are three things to do constantly in pursuit of your goals and dreams, however big or small: 

Awareness: Keep your awareness on the feedback you are getting from life and decide to address the situations immediately. Don’t bottle up feedback, cast it aside, and avoid it like you would a pile of dirty laundry or a stack of unopened bills. Life tells you things every day. Do this. Don’t do that. Think about this. Try me. Forget that. We live in a world that seemingly encourages us to live on autopilot. Successful people fly manually every day and so should you. When those feedback signals come in, listen to them and use them in planning your next step. 

Commitment: Commit to finding out why things aren’t working and learn what will fix them. Once you start the process it will be much easier to continue. Nothing fruitful stems from inaction. 

Trust: Trust that making changes to the situation will ultimately bring about the best results. Sure you might go through a bit of discomfort during the change, and some unlikely or unwanted outcomes, but in the end you will triumph! 

So are you ready to admit the things that just are not working out? 

Make a list of the things in your life that are working against your success and ask how the situation can be improved. Commit to tackling just one of those issues and be brave! 

If you need help organizing those “things” in your life, try using the following list of categories. I recommend reflecting on each of the 7 areas and ask yourself, what’s not working here in each one and then brainstorm 3 potential solutions. 

1.) Financial Goals 
2) Career/Business Goals 
3.) Free Time/Family Time
4.) Health/Appearance Goals
5.) Relationship Goals
6.) Personal Growth 
7.) Making a Difference 

Remember, by facing what is not working, you can only improve your life! 

Share in the comments:
What is a difficult or troubling situation in your life? How are you creating it or allowing it to happen? What are you pretending not to know? What is the payoff for keeping it like it is? What would you rather be experiencing? What actions will you take to create that? By when will you take that action? 

About the Author:
Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul® and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com.

*Reblog from JackCanfield
Image from that arthletic girl

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  1. Through this post, i am able to know that how much health and fitness is essential for our body...Certain things play critical role which helps in generating body and helping in various processes that lead to the breakdown.. If you want to know more relevant details, visit my link http://www.pr-express.com/lpg-massage-in-combination-with-cavitation.html

  2. I love the comment "Plain and simple, you will have to do something uncomfortable." That's the bottom line. We can't grow as people if we don't reach out of our comfort zones. That's true whether you're talking about health and fitness, career, education...just about everything in life!

  3. I also love the line about doing something uncomfortable. Unfortunately (or fortunately), change requires some stretching out of our comfort zones.

  4. True, Michelle! Stepping out from your comfort zone is rewarding but never easy. Afraid of failure, maybe that's what holding me back all this while. :(

  5. The unknown it was holds me back. I'm so afraid of the unknown, of not having control. No doubt about what holds me back, I just don't know how to get past it.

  6. A nice swift kick in the rear to get one from being stuck in excused.

  7. Excellent words of wisdom. My first thought was, "Hmmm, I think I do pretty well on these points". But to say that I don't need to continue to hear/listen/read this kind of wisdom would be foolish of me.

  8. This is a great post with some very honest words and advice. All too many times people want to change things in their lives, but don't want to actually put the work in to make those changes. Most don't know sometimes you have to step outside of your comfort level to get the changes you desire.

  9. At the end of this day, this paragraph really hit home for me: "Life will always be a series of choices and YOU get to decide on what will move you closer to your goals, or farther away from them. External forces will always be part of the equation, even during the good times when the world is thriving. "
    It's just so true. There is never the perfect time to do...anything. You just have to decide it's time to start moving toward your goals.
    Fantastic!!! --Lisa

  10. Love love love this post. It is like yo are speaking directly to me I have been feeling in a rut all over lately!

  11. What a great post! I really loved it. Especially the part about career. Maybe I need to stop complaining and start figuring out what I need to do to make my dreams come true. Work shouldn't feel like work. There has to be a way to do what you love and earn a living.

  12. What a great post. Inorder to grow we must face reality and make the necessary(and maybe uncomfortable) changes. I like the straightfowardness of your post. People need to hear that.

  13. What a great post. Inorder to grow we must face reality and make the necessary(and maybe uncomfortable) changes. I like the straightfowardness of your post. People need to hear that.

  14. Thanks all for sharing your thought.Your every single comments empowers me!

  15. Great post and perfect timing for what I needed advise on!!!

  16. Tara Cartledge, glad you liked it. Jack Canfield never fails to inspires and raise enthusiasm.


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