How To Lose 60 Pounds In a Week - Weight Loss Humor

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. Weight loss program.

The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, ‘If you can catch me, you can have me.’

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there’s a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, ‘If you catch me you can have me’.

Well, he’s out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. As promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program..

‘Are you sure?’ asks the representative on the phone. ‘This is our most rigorous program.’

‘Absolutely,’ he replies, ‘I haven’t felt this good in years.’

The next day there’s a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, ‘If I catch you, your mine!’

He lost 63 pounds that week.

Source: Picbits

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Three Simple Skills To Get Flat Abs

Jessica Alba is due to give birth to her second child at the end of the summer.

Have you ever encounter any of these circumstances when you was not pregnant?

1. During an aerobics class, the instructor walked up to you in the middle of class and asked you (with her loud microphone) if you was expecting your first child.

2. When you was assigned an exit row seat on an airplane you was told by a flight attendant, “You obviously cannot sit in an exit row because you are pregnant.”

3. The dental hygienists assumed you couldn’t get teeth x-rays because she thought you was pregnant.&

4. The first day of your art class, the instructor asked you when you was expecting.

5. While watching your son during his swimming class, another mother asked you when you was expecting.

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Well, a pregnant woman is the most beautiful woman in the world, but being asked when you was expecting is an awkward situation when you was NOT pregnant!

Embarrassing, but maybe this is a wake up call to change your body now. To achieve flat abs can be a challenge. When comes to flat abs, its not quantity but quality that counts. Lifestyle expert Joanna Hall shows you in Exercise Yourself Thin how to get flat abs with these 3 simple skills.

THE RIB HIP CONNECTION

Why you need to master it:

It gives you an instant smaller trimmer waistline.

• To master the 'rib-hip connection', lie on the floor with your knees bent.
• place your hands around your rib cage, finger tips in towards your breast bone. 
• As you take a deep breath in, feel your rib cage expand. This is how most people start their tummy exercises - STOP!! By doing this you will get a bigger waist! 
• To combat this, as you breath out imagine you are wearing a corset which needs to be tightened up. 
• As you drop down you will have engaged your internal oblique muscles, which will help you regain a 'pinched' in waist. 
• Try to feel relaxed and comfortable in this position. 
• Engage the rib hip connection before doing any abdominal exercise.

RELATED: Get plans, ideas and practical tips in Exercise Yourself Thin and lose your target weight: 15kg and even 20kg at a time!

DO THE LIFT AND LENGTHEN

Why you need to do it:

It gives lean flat abdominals and combats a popped out belly look!

• Imagine you are in your classic sit up position on the floor with rib hip connection engaged. 
• Start to SLOWLY lift 2 inches from the breastbone (not the head, chin or nose) lengthening through the crown of the head as you lift and lower. 
• To help you, imagine your head has to touch the edge of a semi circle throughout the whole movement. 
• The movement should feel long as you lift up and down.

GET BELLY STABLE

Why you need to do it:

It stops troublesome lower tummy bulges and supports your back, preventing back pain.

• To really flatten that lower jelly belly you need to target the deep transverse abdominal muscle, the one you are contracting when you lie on the floor to do up your jeans. 
• To help you do this - go on all fours and pull your belly button in to the spine up towards the ceiling as much as possible.
• To test how good you are at this - get your little ones or a friend to try to push you a little
• You should feel really stable and not really move. 
• Now repeat still on all fours but relax your tummy muscles, get your little one or friend to push you gently again and see how you wobble and have no stability.

RELATED: Get help from Exercise Yourself Thin and blow away all sign of stress by simply keep active.

Master these three and your midriff management will be something to be proud of. 

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Hello Farmville Addicts, Playing Games Can Kill You!

Just how watching TV makes you fat, farming all days online in "Farmville" can cause you to gain weight too.

Playing games ain't wasting your time, anyway. It is another fun ways to release low level stress. But playing games for a long time can increase obesity risk because when we're sitting too long we're prone to eating more and less active. The worst, sitting for a long time in one position not only risking your health but your life as a price too. This is what happen to Chris Staniforth, 20 when his Xbox addiction killed him.

The Sun reported that a post mortem revealed the cause of Chris Staniforth's death as deep vein thrombosis (DVT). DVT is a blood clot which develops in the legs or lower torso, often when the suffer's movement is restricted for long spells. 

If the clot travels up the veins to the lungs, it can cause a fatal blockage known as a pulmonary embolism. DVT used to mainly strike passengers on long-haul flights who sat for hours in the same position. But in recent years it has increasingly been seen among those who sit for longs spells in front of computer screens. In Staniforth's case, it can be triggered by sitting and playing his Xbox for up to 12 hours at a time, without getting up to take a stretch.

For his part, Staniforth's father says he does not blame video games, consoles or their makers for his son's death. He has now launched a campaign to warn other parents of the dangers.

Xbox makers Microsoft said: "We recommend gamers take breaks to exercise as well as make time for other pursuits." The lesson here, don't get preoccupied with your favorite games. Take some break for the sake of your health.

Read for more details in The Sun.

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