Back On The Blog: Reflecting on Time Away and New Beginnings

Wow, it has been a long time since I posted here. Lemme make a quick check...well, my last post was somewhere in 2017. Seven freaking years ago! Apparently, my last post was about why I'm holding back on the plan for our third baby because I had never felt heavier than I was at that time. So, I decided to lose all the extra weight before jumping on a pregnancy bandwagon again, because I didn't want to be too heavy to be pregnant. From my previous experience, I knew that you will certainly gain extra weight when you get pregnant. To be heavy to start a pregnancy could cause a lot of complications. I didn't want to face all that unnecessary health problems. Being pregnant alone is tiring enough. And besides that, it's ugly to be fat. Sorry, I didn't mean to offend or trigger my reader by saying that. Fat does not equal ugly But, I always envy the ladies who could hide their baby bump in the first and two trimesters, and get everyone surprised with the pregnancy announcement seven months later. I don't know why, but I feel that being pregnant but not showing it is cool. Maybe because of all my adult and married life, people keep assuming that I was pregnant when I was actually not. I am just very fat.

Ironically, a few months after my last post, I got pregnant. Yes, it was not an accident. Our second child was already 6 at that time, so my husband and I were thinking, about how many more months we should get the plan postponed. My time was ticking. I was 36 at that time. My close friends suggested that it is better to just plan for a baby now, and diet all I want later. Because time is not gonna wait. So, that was what basically happened after my last post. We welcomed our third child in July 2018. 

Adorable! Look at that cute little hand.

I took time off from blogging after the baby. She's a big bright little kid now and already in school. I have free time for myself now after all the kids are off to school. But, I find that jumping back into the writing routine spontaneously is not easy. I have no idea what I should write, and where should I start. 

Maybe, let's talk about my last pregnancy. The thing that I worried so much during my last pregnancy was to gain even more weight than my already heavy body. So, I was being very careful with what I ate. I had GDM and was required to perform self-monitoring blood glucose (SMGB) four times a day. The common routine was to prick your finger with a lancet device to obtain a small blood sample. And then you applied a drop of blood onto the reagent strip. Then, insert the strip into a glucose meter for an automated reading. The normal reading for SMGB is 4 to 6 mmol/L. I usually got myself checked before I took breakfast at 7am, and then before lunch at 11am, the next was at 4pm, and the last was at 7pm before dinner time. I usually didn't have a heavy breakfast, and I avoided sweetened beverages in the morning because the window time between 7am and 11 am was too close and I had a feeling that it might affect my glucose reading. I would have a heavy meal after 11am and avoid tea time because I had to check myself again at 4pm. I remember at one time, I had a light dinner at 6pm. I was craving for lamb chops. I thought it would be okay since I didn't have any heavy meals that particular day. My glucose reading spiked to 7 points something when I did my regular monitoring at 7pm. Of course, the doctor queried me the next time I visited the clinic. That was the first time when my glucose reading got red alert. 🚩  I have been very careful since that because I didn't want to spoil my SMGB record.  

Firstborn and the youngest in 2018

The good thing was I didn't gain a lot of weight during my pregnancy. In my first trimester, I had only a 3kg weight gain compared to my other two earlier pregnancies, where I gained a lot of kilos in the first three months. I was thinking that it was not actually that tricky to maintain your original weight. The most common misconception people have about being pregnant is you eat for two. NO! It is an old-age myth. The baby's nutrients definitely depend on the mother but that doesn't mean pregnant ladies should double their food intake. I was happy that I didn't have a major weight gain this time around as a pregnant lady. The GDM was really a blessing in disguise. I was forced to watch my food intake and be more careful about choosing a portion of healthier food.

Fast forward to 6 years later. I am really in my comfort zone. I am a full-time housewife, and I don't have pressure or good motivation to lose weight. I always planned to lose all the baby weight once I gave birth to this new baby, but instead of losing, I am gaining 10 more extra kilos throughout the 6 years!  😭😭😭

2024 New chapter

So, here I am again! I want to use this blog to tell a story about me trying to lose weight after 40, and I hope that blogging will help me hold myself accountable to my weight loss goals. It has been on my New Year's resolution way toooooo long. It's time to stop wishing and start doing. 

Bounceback plan: I snapped this picture years ago from a magazine
at my local library

If you read up to this end, 

I'd like to say thank you for being kind and reading till finish. I appreciate it if you could drop one or two words in the comments because I like reading supportive comments. 

• What is your favourite quote? Why do you like it so much?
• What is your advice to kick start a new weight loss after living a sedentary lifestyle for years?

1500 calorie diet: Day 1 and Day 2

1500 calorie diet: Day 3 to 6

1500 calorie diet: Day 7 to Day 10

1500 calorie diet: Day 11 to Day 14

So that's it for the warm-up post. I hope to catch up with you again in my next post. 

Toodles.

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5 Things I'm Postponing in Life Until I Lose Weight

11 years and counting. I remember I posted this same post in celebration of our wedding anniversary 4 years ago. It has always been my intention to reward myself with wedding anniversary photo shoot once I met my weight loss goals. The wedding anniversary is my specified weight loss deadline, to boost my motivation to keep going. But look like I had the same old picture here. Dieting for 4 years and lost... 4 years! What a shame. Well, weight loss motivations is a tricky thing! I have a difficult time to stick to a diet plan more than a few weeks.

I don't actually need to wait until I met my weight loss goals to do this photo shoot thing. Like my friend said, why wait? With a bit editing skills, Photoshop here and there, play around with good angle, props and different combination of lights, you're good to go. But that's the whole point of the rewarding system. You'll gift yourself with something in return for an accomplished mission. A reward WHEN you reach your weight loss goals, in my case.

Anniversary: Celebrating our good 11 years!

Being fat is sucks. I realize that I'm holding myself from a lot of the things I wanted to do because of my weight.

5 Things I'm Holding Back From Doing Because of My Weight

1 - Expanding family
I don't want to get pregnant when I'm not at my ideal weight yet. Many friends of mine slightly disagree with me. Weight gain is normal during pregnancy. So losing weight to gain it back because of pregnancy is a total waste of effort, said them. Just focus on having babies and when you decide to stop, you can concentrate on losing weight, get in better shape, get the body you've always wanted, and start working on maintaining the weight loss for good.

But I have a different view in this. I am already obese. I believe my body can't afford to carry any extra weight now, if let's say I'm going to gain 20 kg extra during my pregnancy. No. that would take its toll on my body that is already in an unhealthy state. To get in a better shape for my next pregnancy is an absolute must. I want to have a healthy pregnancy. Moreover, I learn from my previous pregnancy that if you have a steady weight and stick to a healthy lifestyle during pregnancy, you'll be likely to get the baby weight off easily after baby. I'm not getting any younger. That is why losing weight and get in a healthy shape is very important to me now so that we can start thinking about a new addition to the family.

2 - New Hobbies
This year I want to try a new hobby. I am feeling somehow stuck in my life. Life has become monotonous. Maybe exploring new hobbies, learning a new skill and meeting new people can spice up life a little bit. I wanted to try scuba diving because I always wondered how it feels like to breath underwater. But what stopping me? I don't want to be the fat diver on earth. Really. The diving suits might make me look like a stupid whale. The. Lamest. Excuse. Ever. Haha~ But seriously, I can't help but feeling insecure about how I might look in that suit thing. Narcissistic Syndrome much?

I'd also love to try rock climbing, but I'm too fat! The instructor at the sports center where I'm going told me that the rope can support up to a certain weight, which means OK for my weight but I don't have confidence. I fear I might struggle a lot to start because of my weight and end up looking like a fool.

3 - Nice Pictures
I am always the person behind the camera because I'm never happy with how I look in pictures. I know taking pictures is all about creating memories. What a pity, I keep missing in family pictures. When I had to be in it, I'll make sure to stand at the back, sometimes using my children as props to hide my body. I'm however not 100% against being photographed and look too fat. Pictures could be the only evidence and memory I'd have when I reach my weight loss goals one day and say, I used to be fat. Talking about positive thinking.

4 - Shop New Clothes
I haven't gone for clothes shopping for nearly 10 years. Not exactly. I mean it feels like I haven't clothes shopping for a very long time. Last time was December last year because I literally didn't have anything 'fancy' to wear on Christmas. I've been wearing my husband's T-shirt all this time because that are the only clothes I am comfortable wearing. I have few tops in plus sizes and I've been mix and match the old clothes over and over again. Boring! You know, I don't really like putting up my selfies on Facebook because of reason no#3, and secondly, I'm like wearing the same clothes in almost every picture so I think I'm feeling a bit guilty to be seen in the very same clothes in various occasion.

I'd love to buy new clothes and update my wardrobe. But I had to push this into my weight loss bucketlist. Clothes shopping is tiring. I'm always struggling shopping for my size, especially pants. I never wear jeans since 7 years ago. Some more, wrong dress would make you look like you're pregnant. Fat fashions are not flattering, I don't know why but they make you look frumpy rather than stylish. So I simply stop buying clothes. But the perk of it I get to save money on clothes.

5 - Exercise
I have a love-hate relationship with exercise. I think I keep holding myself back because I am physically challenge during a workout. Exercise is hard because it doesn't simply happen. You really need to commit to it. You don't see the result right away so motivation to keep going is hard.

Let's chat a bit:

• Are you postponing your life you lose the weight? Name ONE THING that is may be holding you back from making progress in life.
• Is it because you fear of something? What is your biggest fear?
• Or is it your destructive habits that is holding you back?

Please leave your thought in the comments, I'd love to read your feedback.

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Hot or Cold Foods - Which Type of Foods are Weight Loss Friendly?

I am sparking on weight loss fire. No, I am actually burning, literally!

Don't judge a book by its cover: Green unripe chillies don't mean they are less hot.

Have you ever tried eating spicy food to lose weight? Remember that spicy foods, the one that are so spicy and makes your lips go numb. Kylie Jenner's lip effect, kind of feeling. Happening to me now. But worst! And I feel terrible.

I love spicy food. So. Much. Not because I'm told that spicy food can help you lose weight and speed metabolism. It's simply my favorite food. I thought that I have a high tolerant of spicy food than anyone else. Haha well, that's overrated. I remember last Monday I had this egg drop instant noodle soup for lunch. "Egg drop" meaning I dropped an egg into my noodle soup. Haha-

My food always taste less complete without something spicy, so I added bird's eye chillie. It's called bird's eye chillies because of its size, two to four centimetres in length. Chilli is a must-have ingredient for South-East Asian dishes like sambal and Thai salads. I love chillies, especially the unripe green chillies because it taste not so spicy - bitter spicy taste and crunchy. I had like 10 nos of green chillies chopped and scattered over my noodle soup. My soup didn't taste spicy at first, at least for my level. Soup is so comforting and I can bite the chillies. *crunchy-spicy-crunchy* Then here's the real situation.

The next day, my stomach started to feel like burning. You know the feeling when your lips tingle when you eat chillies? Or when your fingers throbbing after cutting and prepping chillies? It's that feeling but from the inside. The burning sensation sometimes rise up into my chest and throat, I thought I may have a heart attack omg! Worst thing, it has been 3 days in a row now. The burning sensation won't go away. I tried everything like drink hot chocolate (I don't have milk at home), I had charcoal pills. But nothing work. Uh-oh, maybe I should try drink alcohol. 

Rare purple chillies

Hot Diet or Cold Diet?

Chilli is obviously "hot" food. In our culture, foods are categorized into hot or cold category. The concept of hot and cold here is refering to its nature - not the temperature. Postnatal mothers are always advised to avoid "cold" foods, like coconut water, cucumber, cabbage, watermelon, tofu, eggplant, bean sprouts, kiwi, banana, mandarin, strawberry, pineapple, pear, lemon. We believed that cold diet after giving birth can complicate your recovery and prolonged discharge. Cold diet can also trigger trapped gas or trapped wind. I tell you, trapped wind could be extremely painful.

To avoid cold and flu, eat warm/hot food, like ginger, garlic, carrot, pumpkin, potato, papaya, grape, orange, apple, lychee, mango, cherry, rockmelon and grapefruit. Hot/warm food also helps to warm up the stomach, strengthen the body, prevent bloating after eating, sore joints, oedema and fluid retention.

Cold Food or Hot Food to Lose Weight?

Nothing in particular, to be honest. But in my personal opinion, it is best to avoid cold food as cold food like cabbage can cause flatulence, annoying excessive gas, and poor digestion. We know the fact: poor digestion is preventing you from losing weight.

I'm feeling a bit tipsy now. I drink a little. Hope my stomach gets better when I wake up tomorrow.

Let's chat a bit, drop your comments below: 
- What foods that control your appetite?
- What foods you think are healthy, but making you gain weight?

Good night for now.

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5 Powerful Resiliency Mental Tools to Kickstart Weight Loss

Today is 4th May 2017. Already?

123 days totally wasted! I feel like laughing when I read my old post at the same month from 4 years ago.🙈🙈🙈😅A lot has happened over the past few months - from our relocation to my son fell sick. I mentioned about our moving in and out in my previous post. 2 months after moving back into our old place, I am still not fully done with unpacking and organising the whole house. Yes, it's clutter! I'm a little messed up here. I cannot keep up with an exercise routine and I can't stay motivated to lose weight. *sigh

But I can't afford to waste another 123 days. Thank God I didn't have any serious health condition but I knew that my lifestyle is killing me. I can't climb a flight of stairs without panting for breath. Walking and standing feeling uncomfortable, my foot hurts! I am 4-foot-10 and 82kg.

Bouncing back from diet's disaster that stops you from losing weight can be a bit tricky. Maybe because circumstances beyond our control can bring with it debilitating stress and the idea of starting over can feel overwhelming at times.

I think if I get myself in the right place mentally—I can kick start weight loss. But how?

1. Let it Go

When you feel stuck, kickstart a proactive attitude by removing some things that no longer work for you like old clothes and old shoes. Optimize your nest by cleaning up your clutter. Check your house what to keep, toss, or donate. If your living space is cluttered, your mind is cluttered. O yes, The exact thing I want to do next. I believe when you get rid of things that 'drag you down', you'll feel free from the emotional burden. Life will be more creative. An organized environment can help you to make your healthiest choices. You’ll also likewise be making room for new better people and experiences to enter your life.

2. Weight Loss Perspective

Change your perspective about weight loss. Your ultimate goal to lose weight not just because you want to look good, but more important is that you want to lose weight to set a good and healthy example for your children. You need to lose weight for the sake of your health. We have learned that being obese can increase your risk of developing many potentially serious health conditions, like type 2 diabetes. Think about your future. What does it feel like to be able to wear a flattering body hugging dress, again after so many years? And do remember that the number on the scale does not define you or your weight loss success.
Read: Letter To Myself When I'm Feeling Guilty About Food

3. Set realistic deadlines 

When it comes to starting over, it’s helpful to set deadlines for yourself. Setting deadline can create a sense of urgency, thus will help you to motivate you to reach your weight loss goals. But give yourself ample time to accomplish them. For example, lose 5kg in 30 days sound more realistic than to lose 22kg in 22 days.
Read: Weight Loss Deadline -Yes or No?

4. Take consistent baby steps 

You will make more and easier progress if you focus on accomplishing small weight loss tasks rather than large ones now and then. For example, if your errands are less than 1 mile away, park where you can run several errands within a mile instead of moving your car each time. Walk every day and you'll be 13 to 17 pounds lighter next year.

5. Create a support team 

Working on weight loss can be lonely or bored. Team up with a close friend or family member and see who can lose the most weight in six weeks. Don’t be afraid to ask friends or family members for help, or attend support groups. And know when to seek help from professionals.

Blend with nature: I look like a beached whale soaking up the sun. Haha

Ok now, time to tidying up. Someone, gets me the broom!

Let's chat for a bit: 

• Have you ever go through a very difficult time or major change in life? Like natural disaster. Divorce. Marriage. Birth. A death of a loved one. Job loss. Career change. 
• How do you keep going when the going gets tough? 
• Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Top 5 Emotional Hurdles That Seem to Disturb Your Weight Loss Goal

Happy New Year 2017! Haha, totally too late to wish you readers, but may you have a joyful, bright, healthy, double prosperity and happiness throughout the year.

I have been on a long hiatus, life is really like a roller coaster! Last two years, Mr husband's workplace had a major restructuring that he chooses to left the company and started a job hunt. We ended up moving to three different cities in less than two years. Moving to a new place, new city, new home stress me out. Honestly, it took a real hard time for me to cope with packing, handling the children's new school, adjusting to new environment and stuff like that. When I just about to settle my feeling, get comfortable at the new place, Mr husband 'announce' that we need to get ready to pack our things and move and I was like, AGAIN??? How I wish we can stay a bit longer in one place, maybe at least for 3 years but you know sh*t happened sometimes and life must go on.

Speaking of my weight loss journey, I can't focus at all. This may sound like a lame excuse, but really...this moving in and out process makes it difficult to maintain healthy eating habit or in another word my eat right, eat clean goals. I am mentally exhausted. I have no idea how much I weigh now but I know I've gained a lot of weight. As long as I remember, I weighed 82kg last Christmas, 35kg heavier than my goal weight. Some more, when you get too occupied with life, or feel messed up, grabbing something fast like instant noodle really give you comfort. I do still prepare healthy foods for my family, but I don't enjoy my own meals. I always lose my appetite in a hot kitchen. Anybody can relate?

Life is like that. Sometimes up and sometimes you're down, sometimes you just go round and round. But that's what life is. Like an EKG machine, if there are no ups and downs in your life it means you are dead. But the very roller coaster of life can somehow affect your weight loss goal. Let's take a look at these 5 emotional hurdles that may keep you from losing weight.

1. Stress

Stress can cause loss of appetite and trouble sleeping. But stress can also cause weight gain, depending on the person. The body uses energy at a faster rate when stressed. During a stress day, your body releases heavy amounts of cortisol. Cortisol according to MedicineNet, is a critical hormone in our body, which stimulates fat and carbohydrate metabolism for fast energy, and stimulates insulin release and maintenance of blood sugar level. When you get a surge of cortisol, your body told to replenish the energy used, even though you haven't used very many calories. It may result in increased appetite...you'll be very hungry.

What you can do to address stress? Try to look for the positives in life. Appreciate what you have instead of focusing so much on what we don't have. Chill out and try these 4 simple ways to relieve stress at home.

2. Anger

How can get angry prevent weight loss? You could be angry at your boss or at your frustratingly dumb slow colleague, or it might be the traffic jam or cancelled events. At some point, we also feel parental anger towards our children's constant fighting. Anger is a normal human emotion. This emotion can be a good thing, designed to protect you and help you read and respond to upsetting social situation. But when anger turns destructive and out of control, it can make you look crazy. Anger and stress seem related. The anger itself may be a cause of stress on its own. When we get angry, the body pumps a large quantity of cortisol, commonly known as fight or flight hormone. Anger and stress obesity can't simply be treated by diet alone because there's a combination of several hormones resisting weight loss.

How do you control anger? The goal is not to not angry at all. The goal is to calm yourself down. Count to 10 isn't just for kids. Take deep breaths, and count to 10, or to 100...whatever it takes! Identify what made you mad and work on possible solutions. If your anger issues seem out of control, consider seeking help from a counsellor or psychotherapist.

3. Lonely

Loneliness is a bad mood feeling and any bad mood can lead to emotional eating. Why loneliness causes us to eat the most? Because we feel that eating soothe negative emotion. But that's not all. A study shows that loneliness messes up your hunger hormones. Loneliness and lack of connections enhance ghrelin, the hunger hormone which increases food intake. This could be the body's way of telling them to seek out company as humans have evolved to look at eating as a social activity.

If you're feeling lonely, keep yourself busy. Join a group with similar interest. Don't sit around and be isolated. Turn to friends and family to talk about your situation. If you really don't have someone to talk to, you can shoot me an email anytime. I'd like you to know that someone is listening. :)

4. Boredom

When asked about their wrong food choices and their emotions before they eat, "I'm bored" is one of the top excuses people made. There's two type of boredom. First, lazy boredom, when you lose the sharpness of mind and it makes you restless or lazy and you just want to sleep. Secondly, active boredom is when you wants to be connected with something or engaged elsewhere but you feel bored because the environment you're in is kind of unmotivating. Scientist concludes that people eat when bored simply to break the monotony, not because they are hungry.

How not to be so boring? Set goals and continuously keep refreshing your motivation. More often than not, boredom is the result of lacking the right inspiration.

5. Happy

The first 4 emotional hurdle above are negative kind of emotions. You can't lose weight because negative emotional can triggers poor eating habits. But wait, even happy moments can influence weight gain? Yes, falling in love makes you gain weight. Most brides-to-be lost weight prior to getting married so that they look stunning in their wedding gown but they often tend to put on weight post marriage. Love weight doesn't just happen in a new relationship; married women are likely to fall prey to such a phenomenon. When two people are in a happy relationship, their lifestyle patterns, eating and exercise habits change, and not always for the better. After years in a relationship, many couples do settle into a comfort zone and that impressing their partner isn't always the first priority anymore.

How to prevent relationship weight gain? Don't get comfortable. Rather than snuggling on the couch which basically lead to mindless snacking, fill the rest of the time with hobbies instead. Communicate with your partner about your weight loss goals, your healthy goals. It's so much easier to achieve goals when you feel supported.

Your turn now:

• Have you ever caught in a cycle of emotional eating?
• What do you think about emotional eating? Is it because of lack of self-control? Or is it because of your hectic lifestyle that causes you to go through your days on "autopilot"?

Tell me what you think, leave your comment below.

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